I bit the bullet. A little over a week ago, I registered for the Providence Taking Control of Your Diabetes (TCOYD) Conference. It should’ve been a no brainer – big events never come to Rhody, let alone a diabetes event - but I’m still freaking out about it. I’ve yet to meet someone with diabetes face to face. I’ve never been to a meet-up or a conference. 2 years in and in a lot of ways this is still new for me. I’m worried about whether or not I really “belong” there since I’m still honeymooning and sometimes feel as though I don’t understand diabetes as well as those who have passed that stage.
I’ve known about it for a while but initially, I told myself it was better not to go. It'll be a lot of people and that's not a situation that I do well in. Believe it or not, I’m rather shy and quiet in person. I’m an observer. I need to assess the situation and the people in it before I can really get comfortable. Once I get to know you, however, you can’t shut me up. (You’re all shocked, right?)
Then there’s the convention center. Years ago the Smithsonian came to town and that's where it was set up for months. The convention center is HUGE! Are they really expecting THAT many people? Or do they just need that much room for vendors, etc?
And what does one wear to something like this? I know there’s a bunch of exercise opportunities in the afternoon so… should I have sneakers on? Workout clothes? Should I go looking cute and put together and then pull a Clark Kent at lunchtime and change in the phonebooth ladies’ room?
I’m worried that it’ll be like the first day of school and I’ll be put on the spot to answer questions or introduce myself with a creative haiku.
Hi, I’m Ashley
I have found the key to be
Cupcakes and bacon
I’m worried that everyone else will be going with family, friends, and/or significant others and I’ll be there by myself. It's not that I don't have anyone who would want to go with me, I know I do, but I just can't make myself ask. Something that’s supposed to foster a feeling of community, support, and camaraderie is making me feel very, well, alone.
Off the internet, I’m a private person. Only the people who spend time around me even know about my diagnosis. By going, I’ll be owning it, which is awesome, but I have this fear that, with Rhody being as small as it is, my health will once again be the subject of gossip as it's been so many times before. That must sound very self-centered, but it seems as though whenever someone thinks they have "dirt" on me, it spreads like wildfire. I don't want something as personal as my diabetes to be fodder for the gossip mill. I don't want it to be whispered about. I want people to have the testicular fortitude to talk with me directly if they want to know about it, but I know better than to hold out hope for that.
As I’ve said before, the DOC is a huge source of comfort and support that’s ever growing and expanding. I meet newbies and get in on discussions all the time and don’t even think twice about it. I need to take the strength and people-person personality I have online and take it offline. I mean, everyone there will either be a diabetic or someone who loves/cares about/supports one. I’ll be amongst friends, right?
I'm still scared, but I’m going. I know I’ll end up being glad that I went and I’m encouraging everyone who can go to do the same.
I’ll be the shy girl cowering in the corner with a nervous twitch.
From 2002. I have yet to come across someone who realizes what this one's about.
Anymore
I know we hardly speak anymore,
I never go to see you,
But if I were to knock on your door,
What would you decide to do?
Would you open your arms?
Would you take me in?
Knowing that you’re still my home,
After everywhere I’ve been.
Would you welcome me right back?
Knowing that when I turned away,
It was because of those around you,
But I still listen to every word you say.
Would you be proud of me,
And glad that I found my way?
Or would you be too ashamed,
That I was led so far astray?
Would you take me in,
If I knocked on your door?
Or is it too little too late,
And you don’t believe in me anymore?
Today's D-Feast installment is half recipe, half helpful hints.
One of the easiest things you can make that's relatively d-friendly is a plain old stir fry. Whenever we make one, we always get a few meals out of it.
I like to serve it over brown rice so you'll either want to have some pre-cooked that you can heat or make it while you're getting your stir fry on. 1 cup of dry rice should do the trick.
You want to use a big skillet or a wok on medium heat.
Put about 2T of olive oil in it and let it heat up.
Add to it chicken breast that you've cut into 1 inch pieces. (I just use kitchen scissors to do it). How much you add depends on how protein-heavy you want the dish to be and how many people you intend to serve with it. Just use your judgment.
Let the chicken saute for a few minutes until it's browned and you can tell it's cooking and won't kill you if you eat it
Next add 1 cup of low sodium vegetable or chicken broth.
The next part is what mom calls "adding the veggies in order of their toughness?" That makes perfect sense, right?!
Slice 2 carrots and 2 large stalks of celery on the diagonal (fancy!) and add them to the skillet
Cook this for about 5-6 minutes.
Add a medium sized head of broccoli that's been cut into florets (a.k.a. off with their heads/just the top of the trees)
Cook for another 5 or 6 minutes
Add 1 - 1.5 cups of sliced mushrooms
Cook for 3 minutes
If you have a favorite kind of stir fry sauce that you like, this is the time to add it. If not, add to taste some low sodium soy cause, a tablespoon of honey, and some sesame seeds.
This is a very versatile recipe. Sometimes I use red peppers and pea pods or different kinds of mushrooms, it just depends on what I have laying around in the fridge. You can also make this with any kind of protein you want: beef, shrimp, or even tofu if you're into that sort of thing.
I'll be the first to tell you that when it comes to art, I'm better with words and music than I am with a pencil or a paint brush. I have no drawing ability whatsoever. In fact, when I drew a pretty good picture of Dino the Dinosaur 8th grade art class, it was such a big deal that homie is still hanging out on my parents' fridge.
But that's not the point of this post. The reason I'm posting is because the amazing Lee Ann Thill, who is an Art Therapist (and creator of the AWEsome graphic above), has named September 1st Diabetes Art Day! At first, this idea scared me as I had absolutely NO ideas as to what to do that would work with my lack of drawing talent. Then when I woke up this morning, it hit me. I'll be posting pictures of my project when it's done (even if it's not done on time, I'm determined to do it) but I hope all of you will participate. This is a unique opportunity to address and explore our diabetes, or that of our loved ones, without all the words we're used to using. Sometimes words fall short and that's where art steps in.
New Me
Rising up from the ashes,
Of who I used to be,
Leaving it all behind,
Deciding so suddenly,
That the strength,
Hidden within me,
Can make what I want,
Fall at my feet,
If I just,
Use it wisely.
Deciding so suddenly,
That I want better,
Than what surrounds me,
That I don't need anyone,
To make me happy,
That I deserve better,
Than how people treated me,
And I can have it,
If I choose my company wisely.
Rising up from the ashes,
Of who I used to be,
More confident now,
Because of the strength inside me,
Knowing that to be happy,
All that I need,
Is to simply,
Just be me.
I've always been a healthy eater but when I was diagnosed and started searching for more diabetes friendly recipes, one thought kept running through my mind...
Am I being punished?!
Everything was either flavorless or just plain weird. Since my diagnosis came right before the start of the summer, I was determined NOT to miss out on all of the BBQ fun. With some trial and error mom came up with the easiest recipe ever. And since I was up late talking with the FANtabulous Ashley from Random Ramblings, now is the perfect time to share it.
Barbecue Sauce
1/4 cup Reduced Sugar Ketchup
1T honey
1T molasses or agave syrup
Put it all in a bowl and mix it together with a fork. This amount coats 2 pieces of boneless chicken breast so adjust the amount accordingly depending on what you're using it for. Enjoy!
Last Wednesday’s DSMA was amazing as usual. If you or someone you know has diabetes or a loved one with it and a twitter account, you really REALLY need to check it out. Even if you don’t participate right away, it’s a great conversation and the hour just flies by.
One of last week’s topics was insulin for treatment of Type 2 (T2) diabetes. This led to some side discussion about why there would be some resistance to it. Of course, injections are more invasive than oral medications. However, we all know that there’s more to the story than that. I mentioned that needing shots is still seen by many as a failure because then it’s looked at as having the “bad kind” of diabetes. I think it’s ridiculous that one type of diabetes is viewed as being “the bad kind” because, as Scott of Strangely Diabetic said, “like there’s a ‘good’ kind of diabetes.”
(Even as I’m editing this post, there’s a discussion going on re: “the bad kind” on Twitter. I personally think George had a great point here)
When I was diagnosed at 25, everyone assumed that I had T2 because of my age. With all of the issues with eating and body image that I’ve addressed here before, the constant onslaught of “oh, just lose some weight and you’ll be fine” did not help me any. Where did that information come from? It came from where people who do not have a personal connection to diabetes get all of their information – the media.
We talk so often about the media reinforcing false information and their attempts at education doing more harm than good. Beloved TV doctors that I once lauded for being wonderful sources of general information that most of the public wouldn’t be exposed to otherwise let us all down when it comes to talking about diabetes. They explain it as something that you die from rather than something that you live a fulfilling life with. They show amputees on dialysis but they don’t show those of us going to school and/or work and spending quality time with our friends and family. They use diabetes as a threat:
“This is what will happen to you if you don’t lead a healthy life!!!!”
T1 is largely ignored in the media making those without a personal connection to it believe that all diabetes is the same and all anyone needs is a healthy lifestyle to either get better or prevent it entirely. As I’ve said before, if a healthy lifestyle was a curative or preventative measure, I never would’ve become a diabetic in the first place. I’m often annoyed that we are left out of discussions about diabetes that reach large audiences. It's as if we don't exist and as Kelly (K2) has said, We DO exist! If I was someone with T2, I’d be annoyed that the general public seems to think my daily struggle isn’t as tough as someone else’s because my diabetes isn’t considered “the bad kind.”
There are lots of reasons we can point to for why the media does and says the things it does (money being one of them) but why is the general public so susceptible to false information? Well, just think about it. All of these categories exist within our diagnosis which is one that’s already difficult for many to comprehend. I feel that this just makes people even more likely to latch on to the false information that’s all around them. Does saying that I’m a T1 tell you anything about what I do on a daily basis to take care of myself? Not really, because treatment is so individualized you’d be hard pressed to find 2 people who would do the exact same thing and yield the exact same result. Even within ourselves, doing the exact same thing under the exact same circumstances can have completely different outcomes.
I honestly don’t understand the need for all of these classifications other than the fact that insurance companies want them. We’re all in this together. We're all on the glucoaster. We’re all pancreatically challenged in one way or another. We’re all constantly dealing with the food police and insensitive comments borne out of ignorance. We’ve all been on the receiving end of unsolicited advice from people who want to help but really have no idea. We’ve all been told that all we need is a little cinnamon.
The bottom line is, my diabetes is not better or worse than anyone else's and we all deserve equal attention. We all deserve the chance to share our stories in the interest of sharing information and demystifying this disease. We all deserve the chance to see our disease explained and portrayed correctly in any and all media outlets.
And as long as we keep calling out the myths whenever we see and hear them, we just might get it.
