Spam

I've gotten used to the spam comments that occur from time to time, but someone peddling snake-oil on my Diabetes Angel post is where I draw the line.

I've chosen to turn on my comment moderation.

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Diabetes Angel

Today I said my goodbyes to a wonderful woman. As I was thinking of different memories I have of her, one stuck out in my mind.

When I was diagnosed just about 2 ½ years ago, I was really worried about what I was going to do over the holidays. We usually celebrated Thanksgiving with her family and her husband had a knack for making meals inordinately fancy.  Turkey gravy was never just gravy – it had to be something I couldn’t pronounce with hidden carbs and sugar that was a nightmare. The first Thanksgiving after my diagnosis, she quietly added things to the meal that she knew I could eat. When I was the only one going for the whole grain options people started asking questions and commenting that I needed to “eat more to get some meat on my bones.” I didn’t really know what to say as I wasn’t quite used to how to explain diabetes to people but without missing a beat, she chimed in and said “Ashley’s a pro - she saves her calories for dessert!”

I hadn’t really been that concerned about how to manage my diabetes on any particular day until last night when I was preparing for today's service. The service in which I’d watch her husband and 8 year old son say goodbye as my mom said goodbye to her best friend, and I said goodbye to someone I’ve always looked to as an aunt.

What would the overflow of emotions do? Would I be high? Or low? Should I have more than one juice box in my purse or would one suffice? Should I have a good source of protein on hand to intervene in case I felt myself getting too high? I loaded every possible precaution into my purse and crossed my fingers hoping there wouldn’t be any blood sugar catastrophes.

I woke up today to 92 mg/dl.

After the service and before the cemetery I was 85 mg/dl.

After the cemetery I was 94mg/dl.

We’ve all talked about moments of blood sugar nirvana before but that wasn’t what happened today. You see, I had my own diabetes angel by my side. The wonderful woman we were celebrating was very familiar with diabetes. Her own father was a T1 and she lost him when he was 52 years old to diabetes related complications. She was only 24 and she was the one taking care of him, giving him his insulin injections, and managing his diabetes near the end. Today she managed mine.

And I felt the entire D-OC holding my hand through all of it.

In Memoriam

Last night, Heaven received the kindest, classiest, and most beautiful angel it's ever had. She was 52 years old. Now she's finally at peace.


Seeing as it's October, I found it only fitting to turn my blog pink in her honor and to remind everyone to do their self-check every month and get your mammograms when it's time. It didn't save this beautiful woman, but it could save your life.

D-Feast Friday: Apple Crisp!

There's no doubt about it, it's fall in New England (or 'Finter' as the case may be). Many of us in the D-OC have been taking part in all of the great things that come with the fall such as festivals, leaf-peeping, and of course apple picking! For everyone who's been climbing trees for the perfect red apples at the top, here's a quick and easy recipe to put them to use!



You'll Need:

10 apples (I used a combo of macintosh and cortland but any will do)
1/2 C water
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 C white sugar *you can use spenda or stevia/truvia but remember that they're sweeter than sugar and you won't need to use as much to get the desired taste*
3/4 C wheat flour
2 T cinnamon
7 T whipped butter

Peel and core the apples and slice them thin (not super thin - you can always bake longer if necessary, but you can't un-mush them if they cook too quickly)


Place the apples in a 9x13 glass baking dish that's been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray.

Add the water to the dish and sprinkle the cinnamon over the apples. If you think you need/want more, go ahead and add it

In a separate bowl, mix the sugars, flour, and whipped butter until it becomes crumbly and sprinkle the mixture evenly over the apples.

Variation: you may opt to omit the white sugar (or sugar substitute) and use 1 C of the brown sugar instead, but it may need to bake longer in order to crisp up.

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

Let cool but serve warm (I know you know what I mean) and serve with cool whip or vanilla ice cream if you feel like having a carb fest.

Enjoy!

I Don't Get It

For 10/10/10, I wanted to write something inspired. Something upbeat. Something full of hope.



That’s not what this post is.


Right now, my heart is breaking.


It’s breaking because my mother is going to lose her best friend.


Mom’s best friend is a wonderful woman. So kind, genuine, strong, smart, and classy. When she got married, she was excited to have children. She and her husband tried to no avail and looked into medicinal intervention. The risks were explained and she signed the forms without thinking twice. This method didn’t work so they looked into adoption. Right when they’d accepted that a child wasn’t in the cards for them, they got a call from the adoption agency. They were blessed with a beautiful newborn son and I've been in love with the little dude ever since.

Just about 2 years later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. With no family history it was the direct result of the treatments she’d endured in her quest to become a mother. How could it be that God would give her a baby just to take his mother away?

The cancer was attacked aggressively. She endured a mastectomy, reconstruction, chemo and radiation. It was a long, tough road, but eventually, she was in remission. 

While she was in remission, my mother’s other close friend passed away from a very rare type of lymphoma. She was in her 30s. I knew mom was praying she would not have to see the day that she lost another young friend.

2 years ago, her best friend’s cancer returned. The outlook was good…until it wasn’t anymore. She’s been part of numerous medical trials just trying to get more time. Last year right around mom’s 60th birthday, I was holding my breath hoping that this wonderful woman wouldn’t pass on mom’s day. I didn’t want mom to associate the rest of her birthdays with her friend’s passing.

Yesterday, I went to visit my parents for a bit and mom told me her friend is terminal. I’ve known that all this time, and mom did too, but she never said it before. So now here’s my mother, someone who deserves to be surrounded by people just as wonderful as she is, losing her best friend. Mom’s best friend has no strength left to fight this battle anymore but knows she has no choice. She’s fighting for every single day she gets. Every extra day she has with her family is a victory, but we don’t know how many victories she has left in her. She starts another drug trial on the 19th – she’s the first one on the list – but we don’t know if she’ll make it that long.

All I can think is that it’s selfish of me to pray for her to have more time if she’s suffering, but how can I pray for her to be at peace and leave her 8 year old son behind?

THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!

As the youngest, I’m used to being able to fix things with a hug or a new picture for the fridge. But this? I can’t fix this. I can’t make this go away. I can’t give mom a hug and make this better. Everything in me wishes that I could take this pain away from her but there’s nothing I can do. In a situation that doesn’t make any sense, how can I think that my prayers, or good vibes, or positive thoughts are doing anything other than letting me feel like I’m at least doing SOMETHING?!

So yes, right now, my heart is breaking. It’s breaking for this wonderful and amazing woman and friend who’s always been such a bright light in my family. It’s breaking for her family. It’s breaking for the 8 year old little boy who is so scared, he’s sleeping in bed with her every night and has bags under his eyes. It’s breaking for my mom who knows she’s going to lose her best friend.

I don’t have hope. I don’t have optimism. I just have questions that have no answers. I have an overwhelming feeling that life isn’t fair. What’s the point in working so hard? Shouldn’t we just spend our time having irresponsible fun instead? People who are atrocious parents have no problems having families and here is this amazing woman literally dying to have one. People who are selfish and cruel get things handed to them and their targets for abuse struggle for everything they earn in life. What’s the point in all of this if life just turns around and bitchslaps you in the end anyway?

I don’t get it.

NoDDay - Yummy!!!

(my hot chocolate from this morning)

 (my vaca waffle cone...and AWEsome manicure)

That is all.

D-Feast Friday: Shortcut

As I explained in my last post. I've been insanely busy lately. So I'll be honest with you. I haven't actually cooked all week. Defrosted and microwaved? Sure. But cooked? Absolutely not. So what I'm sharing with you today is one of my godsends for when I don't feel like making breakfast.

Ta-Da!!! Trader Joe's Triple Nuts and Flakes Reduced Sugar cereal. Here's its Nutrition Info. It has hazelnuts, almonds, and walnuts in it so unfortunately, if you're allergic to any of those this isn't for you. I know it's not a recipe, but it's something I always have in my pantry and it's kind to my bg. So if you have a TJ's nearby, check it out. If not, I encourage you to really peruse your local health food store or Whole Foods. We CAN find quick foods like this that are kind to our bg and not full of HFCS. We just need to look for them.