How the Mighty Have Fallen

If you’ve been following me here or on twitter for a while, it’s no secret.

I’m a weirdo.

I’m one of those people who, more often than not, enjoys working out. I'd say it's about a 70/30 split.

I’m competitive by nature and working out gives me my “fix.” On the days that I’m in the gym with other people, I love seeing the looks on their faces when they try to keep up with me. On the days that I’m in the gym alone, I’m competing with myself and trying to do more than I did the workout before. I love the endorphin high I get after a great workout and I love feeling like I've accomplished something and pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of. I love that when I’m in the middle of an academic monsoon or when life in general just gets crazy, a good workout can clear my head, melt away some of the stress, and get me centered and energized for whatever’s coming my way.

Don't get me wrong though. There's days I have to force myself to do it. There's days I'm crankypants the whole time I'm in the gym. There’s days I’m scowling the whole time I’m working out because I’d rather be getting an extra hour under the covers, but I still go and get it done. I get it done because I know that if I can just push myself to just get through it, I'll feel amazing when I'm done.

How do I stay motivated? Well, being this scorching doesn't just happen… LOL!!! Seriously though, my biggest motivation comes from my injuries. If I take a few days off from the gym, I feel my knees starting to stiffen and my back starting to tighten. Working out literally and figuratively keeps me mobile. My health is also a huge motivating factor. To me, the true fruits of my labor show up on my lab results namely in my lipid panel and my a1c.

The hardest part of staying motivated is when I'm having glucoaster days and just don’t feel like it. Or when I have a bad post-workout low and I have to get over that fear of it happening again and get my ass back into the gym the next day.

Honestly, motivation is the thing that I’m struggling with the most right now. 2 months ago, I injured my left hip and found out that I have trochanteric bursitis. I was recently given the go ahead to get back in the gym and every time I workout, I feel myself getting discouraged because everything is so much more difficult than I remember. Working out has never been easy for me, but finding it this difficult is a blow to my ego. It makes me question my skill when, after 10 years of being faithful to the gym, 2 months of having to “take it easy” and not do as much leg work as I’d like has set me back. I feel as though I’m starting all over again. It’s incredibly frustrating and there’s many times during my workouts that I just want to stop.

But the next day, I’m reminded of how far I’ve come. I wake up without much muscle soreness to speak of and I’m reminded that the strong diabadass who (no joke) broke an elliptical during a normal cardio session and does leg workouts that have brought big strong men to their knees is still in here. She just happens to have a longer vacation in mind than I do.

And when I hit the gym again tomorrow, I’ll be one step closer to making her see things my way. 

This post is my March entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/march-dsma-blog-carnival

D-Feast Friday: Almond Apple Wraps

As I told Ash last week, I think most of my good ideas in the kitchen happen when I’m lazy and don’t actually feel like cooking. These are super easy and I’m kind of obsessed with them.

You'll need:

1. An 8-inch whole wheat or multi-grain tortilla
2. 2 tablespoons almond butter (basically whatever your brand’s serving size is)
3. 1 large red apple
4. Optional: 1 ½ tablespoons plain granola

Spread the almond butter to within ½ inch of the edges of the tortilla. 

If you’re opting to use granola, sprinkle it on the lower two-thirds of the almond butter

Cut the apple into quarters and remove the core. Cut one of the quarters into small pieces and sprinkle it evenly over the lower two-thirds of the almond butter (or right on top of the granola if you’re using it). Use your judgment as to whether or not to add more of the apple to the wrap – if I’m just making this for myself, I eat the other ¾ of the apple on the side rather than tempting the wrap to explode. 

Roll the tortilla from the apple end. You can either fold one edge over and roll it up leaving one end open, or fold both edges over and roll it up like a burrito.

If you want to use the whole apple for the recipe then your total ingredient list would be: 4 tortillas, ½ cup almond butter, 6 tablespoons granola, and 1 large red apple.

Enjoy!!

Happy Birthday Daddy!!

God took the strength of a mountain
The majesty of a tree
The warmth of a summer sun
The calm of a quiet sea
The generous soul of nature
The comforting arm of night
The power of the eagles flight
The joy of a morning spring
The faith of a mustard seed
The patience of eternity
The depth of a family need
Then God combined these qualities
And then there was nothing more to add
He knew his masterpiece was complete
And so he called it Dad.

Happy Birthday to my hero. xoxo #4!!

Guest Posting at Diabetesaliciousness™!

I’m absolutely honored and humbled to be guest posting for my favorite Bawdy Diazon – the fabulous K2 – over at Diabetesaliciousness™ today.

When Kelly asked me to write a guest post I was floored. When I first took to the internet to see if there were other people “like me” out there, she’s one of the first bloggers I found. I’ve been reading her blog – and using it to explain what diabetes is like to my Type 3s – since long before I became a part of the D-OC. Since then I’ve had the pleasure of “meeting” Kelly via Twitter and finding out that we have equally spectacular taste in TV and yes, she really is that awesome.  

So head on over to Diabetesaliciousness™ where I’m talking about the Ebb and Flow of a D-Life.

D-Tension

Diabetes has a way of making every day moments get tense really quickly.

I was at my parents' house before my visit to the Ivy League last week. One night mom and I had to make a quick trip to the supermarket which is, literally, a 2 minute drive from their house.

I just threw on my sweats and put my meter, wallet, and glucose tabs in my coat pockets. I was just about ready to go when mom came down to my room and saw me standing at my jewelry box.

This is the conversation that ensued:

Mom: you don’t need to put on any jewelry, we’re just running to the store.

Me: it’s my medical ID bracelet.

Mom: but I’m with you. If something happens I know what to do and could call for help or get you to the hospital if needed.

Me: but mom… what if you can’t?

Mom paused and I saw the look of sadness on her face as she realized what I was saying. I know it pains her to know that things like that even cross my mind. I know it hurts her to know that I even have to think that way and be prepared for the absolute worst thing in the world to happen, but it’s true. Maybe not all PWDs are like that, but it’s just the way I think. Diabetes has made me have to think 20 steps ahead of everyone else which is tricky since before my diagnosis I was already thinking at least 10 steps ahead. It’s a Catch-22. I’m always as prepared as I can possibly be, but being that prepared means that I inevitably end up thinking about things I just don’t want to think about.  In some weird way, knowing that I’m prepared helps keep me calm about this whole diabetes thing.

It’s the possibility of the things that I haven’t thought about that scares the life out of me.

Ok, I'll Admit It...

There are certain foods I just don't keep in my house

This is not a diabetes related choice. It's more of an "I know if I open the box I'll eat the entire thing and I don't want to do that" choice. It's a very annoying trait of mine but when I'm around treats that I haven't had in a long time, I find myself wanting to eat all of them. I suppose that’s a good argument in favor of the need to treat ourselves every once in a while so we’re not so tempted but I digress.

When I visit my parents, they have all of these things – in bulk - in anticipation of my arrival. (Is greeting your children with food a general mom thing? Or is it an Italian momma thing?) And I appreciate that. I appreciate the thought and the love that goes into getting and/or preparing my favorite foods when they know I'll be coming home for a visit.

But I have a confession to make. When I have lows at my parents' house I don't go for the apple juice or the bread. I dive head first into the tray of brownies. Or the pasta. Or the ice cream. Or the cream soda. And lately, despite the fact that my injury has me working out at about a quarter of my usual intensity, I've been having a lot of vicious post-workout lows. When this happens at my parents' I basically end up eating my calorie burn and then some.

I'm writing about this in the hopes that by fessing up publicly, I'll knock it off and maybe eat 1 brownie instead  of 3 or 4.

...but who am I kidding? Mom makes damn good brownies.