Wednesday, April 4, 2012

HAWMC Day 4 - Why I Write

I write about my health because for so long I had doctors, family, and friends looking at me like I was crazy. They all thought my mystery sickness was in my head and that if I was truly sick, a doctor “would have found it by now.” Through perseverance and thanks to parents who believed me when I said something was wrong, I’m now part of this online community. I’m now surrounded by love and support. Through talking with people in this community I’ve realized that when I felt so alone with my health problems and when I felt that I must have been as crazy as my doctors thought, I was never really alone. There were others who’ve been in my shoes, I just hadn’t found them yet.

So I write. I write in the hopes that someone who is frantically searching the internet to find some indication that they’re not crazy – that someone else has felt what they’ve felt - will stumble across this blog and know that they’re not alone. I write for the people who are hoping to find indications that there’s life after diagnosis. I write so that women with diabetes and reproductive issues will know that we can’t let fear dictate our lives and make us give up on our deepest dreams.

I write because once I put it out there, it’s no longer my burden alone. I write because there’s no burden that the D-OC won’t step up to help me carry.

I write because once it’s out there, I’m owning it and when I own it, it’s no longer in control of me.

Secrets only have power when you’re holding onto them. Once they’re out in the open, they lose their power to hurt you.

And that’s why I write. Because I refuse to let my secrets about my health have the power to hurt me any more. 

3 comments:

  1. Sharing the burden - that's helped me so very much.

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  2. Great post, Ashley. Glad to have helped shoulder your struggles. Thanks for helping with mine. :-)

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